Cooper Dart

Many Days

How many days until my guinea pig’s
first birthday? Until our vernissage? Until the Feast
of Our Lady of Guadalupe?
I am calculating days until I have
seven years sober. Until redundancy.
Until I no longer have chlamydia. Until I turn 30,
run out of time, and gain possession of the proverbial farm.
——
Why am I here? To test the accuracy
of a program I am writing that calculates
when a parent is twice the age of the child?
To find the days until human extinction occurs?  (2485)
To see if this is real? The apartment lease is up.
This is good — I see my dad.
This is good, thank you.
This is good.

Source & Method

This is composed of public comments made on the “Keisan Online How many days until ~ Calculator” website. I went through them all and organized by topic/theme, then sorted into the order we have here!

 


Cooper Dart grew up in Hailey, Idaho. He is currently a senior at Bowdoin College on the coast of Maine studying natural resource management, anthropology, and creative writing. He can usually be found at the nearest rope swing.