Let Me Pamper You Lovingly

I am still serious
when necessary
with my great sense of humor
fun educated and cute
a retired Chippendale dancer
who demands respect for his mind.

You may delay but time will not
there are long walks waiting for us at the beach
a glass of wine to drink before the fire
and horses to curry
before we cuddle away the day.

Is there anybody out there
brutally honest
tall, dark, and handsome
looking for her better half
glass half full
couch empty
heart overflowing?

Fun and fit guy looking for same
Pisces girl wanted,
a real lady who cleans up well,
goes from jeans to stilettos in sixty seconds
no more lackluster girls please;
let’s blow up the night.

Looking for a foodie with benefits
medical, dental, conjugal
no plus size gals
let’s try this out
I want to start a family
If you’re gutsy and you know you’re sexy
this is me—a natural hairy woman
what about you?
forty-six reasons why I’m giving up on Craigslist.

Source text: A compilation of excerpts from Craigslist personal ads.

Rainy Day Luncheonette

Gyoza counter seat, alone, sashimi plate.
Rain stripes the window.
My rocking heart runs out of light.
From now on, the atmosphere is likely to be unstable
no sound, the opposite would be inorganic.
Silence again, just for my father.

Light and sound
in the park hope was left until the last moment.
The green umbrella billows down the street
under its own steam. Which way?
The wind binds my ankles
has its way with me.
I don’t know that it’s a slipknot.
There’s a saying, “no ginger;”
give up the possibilities.
A chance miracle worker
is given equally to everyone.

Source text: These words are from Japanese Facebook posts, translated via Bing.

Sandra Anfang is a poet, teacher, and visual artist. Her poems have appeared in Poetalk, San Francisco Peace and Hope, West Trestle Review, Tower Journal, Clementine, Corvus, Unbroken, Silver Birch Press, and many others. She is a California Poet/Teacher in the Schools and hosts a monthly poetry series in Petaluma, CA.